Wooh..

Well hello there! been a long time.. lotta stuff has happened.
1) i have stopped worrying about my spelling/puncuation on this so DEAL! lol
2) i feel better than i have in a long time..
3) i have let go, if they are here great, if not, o well
4) i have re-connected, :)
5) TESTS!! TESTS CAN SUCK MY BALLS!
6) i have balls Now?
7) My friends are amazing... Not that it is new!!!
8) I AM GOING TO VAGAS BABY! LETS GO GET DRUNK!! jk on the drunk part.. lol
9) spanish sucks, again not new...
10) i like lists, they are awesome.
11) heh heh heh heh... erin you know what this means!! cappichino so do u.... heh heh faries...
12) when your parents date..it sucks
13) i am waay sore
14) i am tired.. bed time now..

How to keep my sanity!

I've figured it out! I'm so proud of me? I love the gym, I think it is my soulmate! :-D I feel happy at the gym, little skiddish but happy. I love the feel of my muscles screaming and burning. I love how it makes me feel at peace with myself. I think it's funny how I never want to post when I'm happy but I have to whine and complain when I'm not. lol.
 But today it is not to whine and complain, it's to say JOY because I found my sanity! (how, idk) I am stronger than I thought, and am suprising myself. Only not even a week left!!

Mwaaaaa...

It's all gooooood.

NEW START

I'm done being weak. I'm going to start being strong again! I'm going to start being Rockstar again, not whoever this weakling is.

WOOHOO? YEAH! (I don't know why I'm typing so big I just wanna) I'm being strong now! Leave a message, after the beep.

WORDS

Words can ruin anything, have you noticed that? Relationships, ideas, dreams, life. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt them. True, but words will kill. You would think I would learn to keep my mouth shut! No, when I keep my mouth shut I get in trouble because I'm hiding things, when I speak my mind, I get in trouble as well! What am I supposed to do? I find myself asking over and over again 'what do you want me to do?' Because I don't know. Everything I do hurts someone. Maybe I should stop trying. Maybe then I'll stop huting everyone. I doubt it, because if I stop trying people will be dissapointed in me. I don't know what I want, I don't know anything right now. I'm tired. Tired of everything. There is nothing I can do. It's just habbit that keeps me getting up every morning. I'm going to crack. I'm going to lose it. I can't go anywhere without this weight. Without this chain. Without this Kryptonite. I feel as if I'm losing my grip. I can't even trace it back to any one thing... Just the catlyist. I'm just tired. I want to give up.

xmas break

One thing I really HATE about xmas break is I don't have anything to do! No soccer, no school, none of my friends are really able to hang, I even find myself wishing I had homework to do! The worst thing in the world for me is to be idle. I've got all my xmas shopping done, no games, I can't drive so I can't really go anywhere. Humm... I just realized how much I depend on people, hint hint it's a lot, maybe I should stop depending on them? If anyone knows how it feels to be let down it's me. Why do I care about some people? Even when they don't care about me? Why do I dwell on things I can't change?? What am I doing? How am I changing? Am I going in a circle? Maybe I should quit? Maybe I can't! lalalala bla bla bla. It's all meaningless, I suppose. I am who I am, they are who they are, I can't change that, I can try to understand that. But how am I supposed to when one week we were friends, the next they won't even look at me? lalala bla bla bla. Sticks and stones my friend... I'd like to think sticks and stones...

LOVE STINKS! YEAH YEAH! LOVE STINKS!

   -The Wedding Singer

Thats all I have to say

Why hello

Hello there. I'm Megan. I love soccer, but sometimes it can get on your nerves. I ♥ someone very much, but can hardly ever see them. I have many friends that seem to not want me in their life, but somehow, whenever I think I can drop some luggage they always come back. Love is hard. Life is hard. Some of my favorate sayings are 'The goal is not to survive, but to live' and 'Life is to be lived, not endured'. I went to a soccer college thing and it was very useful for me. :) But I missed practice. :(  I have done things that I'm forbidden from doing, I don't regret them. I'm not sure where I stand on many many things.. I'm not sure I'll figure it out until college. I have too many friends that like to cast me aside like old meat. I wrote, 'Everything is going to be alirght' on my right thigh, I wrote 'Everything happens for a reason' on my left, I wrote 'Stay strong it will get easier' on my left arm and 'be you' on my left bicep. I F***ING hate math. I love my team. I miss my Daddy. I miss my Daddy. I miss my Daddy.