Well....

Today was great! honestly it was fantastic... but I feel.. down. Steve and Aubs say that I've lost my spark, that it's underwater. I believe them, I feel awful. I don't want anyone to comment on this FYI. You can click the button but don't comment ok? I have to be good.. in more than one sense, it sucks but I have to be so I can be involved in stuff later. (Steven you know what I'm talking about) I feel like crap. I feel like a bad kid, but I don't want to stop doing what I'm doing, I'm a selfish turd and en route to self destruct. (I'm not going to off myself) I hate being depressed. it just hit me really hard tonight, I don't know why, just did. I hate myself and I don't want to be with anyone, because I know I will screw things up. I really don't want anyone to read this and then talk to me about it, because I know it will pass.. These are just my feelings right now, if I bury them then they will come up and bite me in the ass later. I don't know what to say so I'll just say this sucks. I hate myself right now, no you can't help me, i just need to pick up my lazy ass. I'm tired of not being good enough. I'm sick of not having a dad. I'm tired to the bone but scared to fall asleep. anyways.. I'm going to go do more homework.